We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

What Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton, and his cast of multi-cultural zaddys neglected to serenade us with in the next verse is that sometimes two things can be true simultaneously. And while we’ve barely cracked into the meat of January in this new year, I’ve been forced to hold space for and reckon with multiple truths at the same time. 

There was a coup last week. It was a domestic terror plot where a mob of ill-begotten, pock-marked hillbillies stormed the Capitol, seemingly crawling over walls (when the stairs are like… right there), and paraded their White Privlege and stupid political beliefs through our sacred, hallow halls. They stole tech equipment, which is a massive violation of our nation’s cybersecurity. Capitol police directed Nazis to Senator Schumer’s office. 

And I still haven’t processed it. This is what I do for a living. I am so proud to work in politics and I love my job and my industry. The people that work in those buildings are good people that believe they can make a difference. 

As a child and budding history nerd living in recovering communist dictatorships that ate up tomes about Hitler’s expansion eastward, the CIA’s invisible hand in Latin America, Mao’s cultural revolution, and the Freedom Riders, SNCC, and the Civil Rights Movement, I sat on my high horse confident in my belief, “It’ll never happen here, not to me.” History took on a romanticized, fantastical element. 

It’s happened here.

I still want to make my country a better place.

After last Wednesday’s riots at the Capitol, after watching a collective trauma on our cell phone screens and TVs what was almost worse was the ensuing armchair punditry. To have the privilege to spout ignorant bullshit and then move onto the next meme or hilarious Facebook status with a typo left me reeling — especially when I’m still reckoning with the riots professionally, personally, and emotionally. This isn’t just a news chyron, a notification, a retweet or a Facebook share. The legitimacy of your argument should not be evaluated by the social media engagement metrics it receives. Especially since some of us don’t have the privilege to just walk away after smashing that POST button. We can’t just move on and not deal with it — face the crisis head on. I am staggered by the amount of people that I considered part of my network — friends and family — to be absolute tone-deaf fucking buffoons. 

I can act as an example during times of political duress with my professional expertise and calm, strategic thinking. I know that dehumanization always starts with words and ends with violence. Shame undermines accountability and corrodes empathy. 

Some of those Facebook statuses, Tweets, and way too long Instagram captions were fucking stupid and y’all should be mortified at how you parked your ass on the wrong side of history. I refuse to unify with racists, bigots, anti-semites, and people who abuse semicolons and em dashes like that. 

While I was walking my dog this morning, a mentally ill unhoused person followed me for more than an hour and then assaulted me. I am physically okay, just really really freaked out. I’m proud of how I handled a dangerous situation where I was scared for my safety. I listened to my intuition and those hairs on the back of my neck that stood up. I changed my walking routine. When he assaulted me, I made a big scene. I screamed. I ran for 15 minutes back home in doc martens and sweats with my brother on Facetime because I needed the verification that something bad was happening. After he assaulted me (who the fuck chucks a basketball at someone’s face 3 separate times), I called the cops. 

I am a feminist and an abolitionist and I am currently working with organizations that are leading the nation in defunding the police. I want to take your budget and give it back to the community.

I am grateful for my safety and the police’s quick response. I recognize that I am a single white woman which afforded me privilege and protection — the police were thoughtful, offered me further assistance, and documented the incident. 

After the police came to my house to check on me, I found out that 4-5 other people called the police because I made such a scene but were unable to give a description of my assailant. Even though I was alone while it happened, I am grateful for strangers that stepped in. As I was running away from him, I ran into a woman that was also alone with her dog. She was getting tangled up in the leash and I yelled GO THE OTHER WAY. A MAN IS FOLLOWING ME AND JUST ASSAULTED ME. 

I would never let another woman alone experience that. Never ever. 

I did not do anything to deserve that man attacking me. I am proud of how I used my instincts to fight, run, and rely on my community.

I am still really scared. Being a woman alone in a city is hard and I wish I had a man to walk my dog with me. 

It’s Impeachment day and I’m not working because I was just physically assaulted. I’m not going to push myself today because I just experienced a traumatic incident. I am at capacity. I have reached my limit. The nation has reached its limit with trauma — collective and individual. We are tired. I am tired. The current occupant of the White House was just impeached for the 2nd time and I just want it to mean something. I want it to tangibly people’s lives and act as an accountability mechanism to our system and for those looking to abuse it.

I love my job. I love learning about history. I believe in collective action, electoralism, and the power of protest.

I desperately want to stop living through unprecedented historical events.

Two things can be true at the same time.